Finally I tried to drive on the road last Saturday. I was really nervous about it, it wasn't easy for me at all. Every time I saw a car behind me I felt panicked, and habebe keep telling me to concentrate and focused my eyes on the road and glance at the same time on the side and rear view mirrors to see if there were vehicles behind me. Even habebe was raising his voice at me, I didn't have time to answer him back. I let him raised his voice at me, because I knew it wasn't easy for him too, especially that my steering wasn't good enough. My turning and following the road curve is improving according to him, but I really need more practice. I wish we could practice every week, this all I need to improve my driving. I'm happy enough that I managed to drive on the road though I was struggling. I really want to drive, because I felt I am being too dependent to my husband, which I'm not used to when I was single. Thinking about the situation, it makes me feel that I am useless. To live here in the U.S. it is very essential to learn how to drive. I am always worry about my driving, I do hope I could learn sooner, because this will help me to get a job. Though habebe didn't like the idea of me working outside, but I am sure he has nothing to do, once I know how to drive. I have a purpose why I want to work, and I used to work hard for the last 13 years, and I missed those years. Last night we had a serious conversation, he brought up the baby thing again. He said he wants to have a baby now while he is still working to make use the advantages, he is talking about the work benefits that he has now. Plus he said, he is not young anymore, and he wants to see our own baby growing up, giving him/her enough love and attention before he gets too old. I was teary eyed and speechless. It shattered me because I am not yet ready. I still have a few goals to achieve before I want to get pregnant. Having a baby is not easy, it needs financial stability, and he is the only one working. My heart bleeds seeing him working so hard, and I still want to take care and spend more time with him first. I know that I'm getting older, and at my age now, it's quite dangerous if I let the time pass. To make a serious decession is hard, if you think about what will happen in the future.
Monday, November 10, 2008
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2 comments:
nah remember nagdagan ang mga adlaw nya wala nagkabata ang mga taw basin cge nimo ug delay ang magka baby it will too late and you will regret it later.
i promise you, once you have the baby magcge nalang ka ngisi and it feels like heaven seeing her or his beautiful face labi na guapa jud kaayo. makaingon ka lami pun-an haha!
anyways, dili mana mag pundong baby kanunay ang anak, modaku man jud na so by that time pwede na nimo e fulfill imong goals ug unsa man gani na!
naunsa ba oi.. IT WILL BE TOO LATE oi mura naman ko intsik ani
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